The Ice Palace

Let me give you a little background story first. I manage a moving company, and sometimes, we are also a receiving/delivery company, for local contracting projects like hotels, hospitals etc. We receive the freight, store it in our warehouse, and deliver it when the project is completed. This means that when some freight comes in they have to give me notice due to the fact that we aren’t a staffed warehouse, and there is no way I am going out there and jumping on the forklift to receive that.

About two years ago we had a cancer center being built here, so we ended up with the contract for reciving, and storing the freight. Drivers would always try and drop their loads (I know that sounds dirty) here without calling ahead. I would always have to be a raging bitch and tell them, no way without prior aproval. I proceeded to annoy every freight driver in the county during this project. Except one.

His name is Mike. I only know this because he writes it on the freight bill. He’s not uber hot or anything like that but, kind of cute in a nerdy sort of way, and I tend to like nerdy guys. Every time he has had a delivery for the last two years he has flirted with me when he came in. One time he even offered to open the roll-up door for me. I don’t see him as much as I used to so he seems to talk to me longer each time he comes by. I decided the next time he was here I would flirt with him first and see what happens.

Fast forward to yesterday…

I have to schedule a pick up of a broken TV, so I call his freight line and have them send me a driver. I had a feeling it would be him, so I stayed in the office to wait for him, rather than go home early like I usually do. He showed up after receiving hours as usual, and honked his horn to let me know he was here. I put on lip gloss (you know the kind from Avon that makes your lips look wet and pouty?) and tossed my hair, and walked out into the warehouse. He was waiting when I opened the roll-up door with a big grin. Here was my chance.

I thought to myself “Say something clever, Debi”

I said as I pointed to the broken TV “I assume you are here to pick that up?”

What the hell? That wasn’t clever!

As I handed him the bill of lading so he could put a tracking label on it, I thought “wow, what a dolt… ok try again” of course… he beat me to it.

Mike: “Hey, I like that top you are wearing today. You just look really cute today!”

Me: “Oh! Thanks, my girlfriend says I look like a gay peacock in it.”<—insert WTF did I just say look here

Mike: ” Well she’s wrong you look great”

Me: “uh, thanks! I’ll run in and make a copy of this for you” <—again…What the hell? That’s NOT clever… or flirty… and mostly lame.

So I come back out with his copy, and I know he is about to leave after he fills up his water bottle, so it’s my last chance… what do I say?

Me: “Well, I probably won’t see you again for a while, since the market is so slow”

Mike: Yeah, I’m not hauling as much… well you have a nice afternoon Debi” (he lingers)

I say thanks, and stand there like a deer caught in car headlights. I drop the roll-up door down, and watch him drive away. I am completely lame. I have no flirt skills anymore. How did this happen?

*Bangs Head On Desk*