The Ice Palace

…and drink

A typical weekday morning starts out very chaotic for me. Not because I am unorganized, but because I have a teenager in the house.  By the time I am ready to drive out of town for work, I am ready to have a shot of Jager. I am frazzled. My stomach hurts, my blood pressure is through the roof, and I kinda feel like I could punch a kitten if it looked at me wrong. (No kittens were harmed in the writing of this blog)

This was my morning…

• Get up
• Wake son up
• Go pee (shut up! you all pee in the morning)
• wake son up
• wake son up
• wake son up
• wake son up (I only have one son)
• badger son to take the dog out - give up
• take dog out myself since son is still rolling about in bed.
• wake son up… again - tell him to go outside and shake the water out of the tent in the yard so it will drive all day. (I need this for Pirate faire this weekend)
• take shower
• make sure son is getting dressed
• get contacts in
• make sure son is still getting dressed (wth? why does it take him so long to put on a shirt and pants?)
• get dressed
• send son downstairs to eat breakfast
• put on half of make-up
• go downstairs and tell son to eat breakfast - stop staring at the wall
• put on other half of make-up
• go downstairs and tell son to stop staring at the wall and get things in the car
• check tent - it’s still a pond - tell son to get water out of the tent - again
• dry hair
• yell downstairs to son “brush your teeth” (and yes he would forget- ewww)
• put on earrings
• make bed
• put away PJ’s
• go downstairs and freak out about the mess son has made getting cereal
• wonder what scissors were used for in the making of cereal - forget it I don’t wanna know
• put scissors away
• grab breakfast
• Son is tripping over his own feet
• grab purse, keys and cell phone stacked neatly on the secretary
• walk by and see the tent is still a pond - I shall have to kill him now.
• get dog in car (he comes to work with me), get in car
• get out of car and unlock the door because son forgot cell phone
• get in car - again
• drive away
• son says he forgot some homework
• mom says too damn bad
• drop son off at school
• drive to the nearest Starbucks and order a cracktastic mocha
• tell son’s father about son’s homework problems at school - dad is less than helpful
• hang upon dad
• Room mate calls and says we should sell the son to the highest bidder
• drive to work, trying not to have road rage (failed)
• Get to work see that someone from the OTHER building is parked in our parking lot
• walk in office, sit down at desk and cry.

I will have to do this all over again tomorrow… someone please kill me?