The Ice Palace

S. and I had been talking all week off and on . Mostly he would text, and I would read them and roll my eyes. He said he was going to come see me on Saturday. On Wednesday I started feeling that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if he really showed up? What the hell would I say to him at this point? I knew I shouldn’t believe that he wanted to come see me. I knew when he said he loved me I shouldn’t believe anything he said. I knew, but I hoped that I was wrong. I wanted to give him that chance to come see me. I frankly wanted to confront him about everything in person. I knew I shouldn’t have even been talking to him, but I did.  Sadly he told me he would be leaving at 1pm… it’s 5pm and he’s not here. He should have been here an hour ago. He won’t answer his phone or his text messages.

He Lied… again. I didn’t really believe he was coming, until this morning when he hadn’t canceled. I never though he would just not show up and stop talking to me like this. It’s all very reminiscent of a vacation that I wasted 3 years ago waiting for SG to show up. I’m sitting here in shock. I don’t know what I am more in shock about though. The fact that I let myself hope that he would come see me, or the fact that he didn’t come see me, or even make up one of his lame excuses.

I am shattered, broken, torn in half yet again… still.

Again, this all comes down to how could someone do this to me? WHY? I trusted. I loved, I gave everything. How could someone be so mean and cruel to another person. I could never do what he has done to anyone. Never.

Are there no honest people out there anymore? No morals? NO scruples?