I Need To Vent…
…and drink
A typical weekday morning starts out very chaotic for me. Not because I am unorganized, but because I have a teenager in the house. By the time I am ready to drive out of town for work, I am ready to have a shot of Jager. I am frazzled. My stomach hurts, my blood pressure is through the roof, and I kinda feel like I could punch a kitten if it looked at me wrong. (No kittens were harmed in the writing of this blog)
This was my morning…
- Get up
- Wake son up
- Go pee (shut up! you all pee in the morning)
- wake son up
- wake son up
- wake son up
- wake son up (I only have one son)
- badger son to take the dog out - give up
- take dog out myself since son is still rolling about in bed.
- wake son up… again - tell him to go outside and shake the water out of the tent in the yard so it will drive all day. (I need this for Pirate faire this weekend)
- take shower
- make sure son is getting dressed
- get contacts in
- make sure son is still getting dressed (wth? why does it take him so long to put on a shirt and pants?)
- get dressed
- send son downstairs to eat breakfast
- put on half of make-up
- go downstairs and tell son to eat breakfast - stop staring at the wall
- put on other half of make-up
- go downstairs and tell son to stop staring at the wall and get things in the car
- check tent - it’s still a pond - tell son to get water out of the tent - again
- dry hair
- yell downstairs to son “brush your teeth” (and yes he would forget- ewww)
- put on earrings
- make bed
- put away PJ’s
- go downstairs and freak out about the mess son has made getting cereal
- wonder what scissors were used for in the making of cereal - forget it I don’t wanna know
- put scissors away
- grab breakfast
- Son is tripping over his own feet
- grab purse, keys and cell phone stacked neatly on the secretary
- walk by and see the tent is still a pond - I shall have to kill him now.
- get dog in car (he comes to work with me), get in car
- get out of car and unlock the door because son forgot cell phone
- get in car - again
- drive away
- son says he forgot some homework
- mom says too damn bad
- drop son off at school
- drive to the nearest Starbucks and order a cracktastic mocha
- tell son’s father about son’s homework problems at school - dad is less than helpful
- hang upon dad
- Room mate calls and says we should sell the son to the highest bidder
- drive to work, trying not to have road rage (failed)
- Get to work see that someone from the OTHER building is parked in our parking lot
- walk in office, sit down at desk and cry.
I will have to do this all over again tomorrow… someone please kill me?
